#justkidding

You know what? I would like to declare a moratorium on people saying thoughtless, snarky, downright-rude things and then when being called on it, they say "Oh, I'm just kidding."  (And for the purposes of this blog, I will use the verb "say" to include things both spoken and written/typed.)

Do not misunderstand me.  I say snarky things constantly, and it is something I know I need to curtail (but that is a whole other post.)  We all say things we shouldn't, whether intentionally or no, and we often get called out for it.  And in those moments, we have one of two choices.

We can either own it, or we can say "Just kidding!" and push the onus onto the other person, as if they're the one with the problem.

At this point in my life, I have much more respect for the person who owns what was said, whether they stand their ground defiantly or they feel shame and apologize.  I can respect you for either of those options, because at the bottom line, you are taking ownership of your actions (so to speak.)  It most likely isn't the easiest thing to do, either, so points for integrity.

Where I have a problem is when people opt for the coward's route, which is to say "Just kidding!" or "It was a joke!" and usually follow that up with "Whatever" or "Wow, you need to lighten up" and put it all back on you.  First of all, nine times out of ten, there is no joking, sarcastic tone to what has been said; the "Oh, I was only joking" afterthought rings quite flat.  Secondly, it shows that you do not respect me enough as a person to be honest about what you said.  And to try and put your crap back onto me because you don't feel like dealing with it? As my friend Leigh says, "Unacceptable."

That being said, I am aware that there are times where Person A truly is joking and Person B honestly did not pick up on that.  That has happened to me on both sides of the equation.  However, in those situations, even though there was some confusion upfront, it was still clear that no real harm was meant, even if it is all in the way they say "I was just kidding."  (You can say it sincerely, after all.)

And upon reading this, I am sure most of you can think of at least one time that I have been guilty of committing this crime myself, because no one is perfect.  For that, I do truly apologize and am concentrating on doing better from this point forward.